Let’s be honest:
The holidays are a lot.
Too much noise, too much people-ing, too much expectation.
If you’re empathic or neurodivergent (or even if you’re not), this season can (and will try to) fry your circuits.
Here’s how I have learned to navigate “normal” life, but I am finding it much more important to help navigate this season known for its unrelenting crazy-ness without losing your sanity:
1. Set Energetic Limits (Not Just Social Ones)
You do NOT owe anyone your bandwidth. Read that again. Let it de-programme the myth you have been taught. Let it sit.
2. Create a Post-Social Decompression Plan
Before leaving for your social obligation, prepare to come home to comfort. Set out:
Blanket → tea → quiet → diffuser → cat (or dog), but cats are less demanding (in my opinion).
The holy sequence. It is okay to be quiet. And alone. Lonely? Let’s discuss this in a different post. But right now, know your body is craving decompression.
When you come home, all will be ready to support you — with maybe the exception of the cat who reserves the right to dis you for being away for even 30 minutes — instead of collapsing in a chair with “I.Can’t.Move”.
3. Anchor Yourself
Before you leave home, touch your heart and say:
“I am safe, I am protected. I am loved. I stay in my own energy.”
4. Protect Your Peace
At the event, even if it’s “just family”, if someone drains you, keep conversations short.
If a space overwhelms you, step out. I try to be polite about it but, sometimes I leave it too long and it gets necessary to just GO!
You are not rude — you’re regulating. Especially when it comes to the “Columbo” wannabes. “Oh. One more thing.” Particularly dangerous when you are at the door ready to go and the conversation lasts another 45 minutes. If your family is notorious for this specific practice, build the 45 minutes into your total time — and try slowly but surely to cut down each time you leave. In my case, over 25 years, I think I eventually got it down to 15 minutes. In my family, any progress is a bonus. Take what you can. Remember you have comfort at home.
5. Permission to Rest
The holiday marathon is not mandatory. Read that again. Let it sit. Soon enough, you will start to believe and live this.